Homecoming talk!

Hi everyone! 

Even six weeks later, I can't believe I am homeeeeeee!

I have been so touched by how many of you followed my blog while I was gone. 

I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. 

I am so overwhelmed by how many great people that are in my life.
I truly am blessed.

I decided to keep this whole blogging thing up! 

Follow my new blog and life adventures at: 

http://nevertoomanyhashtags.blogspot.com/

This will be my last post on this blog! 

I can't think of a better way to sum it all up then by posting my homecoming talk. 

THANKS AGAIN!

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

June 21, 2014

Well 18 months ago, I left for a mission in Los Angeles and I don’t think I had any idea what I was getting myself into. I could talk to you all day about the incredible experiences and … interesting adventures I have had. I could talk about miracles, cockroaches, biking, homeless people, international people, celebrities, parking tickets, Hollywood, Santa Monica pier, etc. I absolutely loved the past year and a half of my life and it really is hard for me to sum it up.

People often ask me, “what was your favorite part of being a missionary?”

And out of all of the things I could say I often reply, “Being able to feel God’s love for people and being able to catch a glimpse of the way God sees them.” When I was set apart as a missionary, I could feel a heavy, yet special mantle come upon me. As part of that calling, I could walk down the street and see a complete stranger and feel completely overwhelmed with pure love for that person. I remember one day in particular where this happened. My companion and I were walking down the streets of South Central L.A. We were the only white people. And we were definitely the only girls in long skirts walking around. We stopped to talk to this kid in his young twenties. He was so hardened by his life circumstances. He was orphaned and abandoned at a young age. He joined a gang to try to survive, but that choice had put him in and out of juvie and jail for years. He was so bitter at God and denied his existence. He ripped up the pass along card I gave him. He was so hateful, but I saw a small part of the potential that Heavenly Father can see in Him. I wanted him so desperately to just stop and listen to what we were offering. We could help him become exactly who he was craving to be. I loved him and that love was not my own.

President Uchtdorf, a modern day apostle of Jesus Christ, has said, “Much of the confusion we experience in this life comes from simply not understanding who we are. Too many go about their lives thinking they are of little worth when, in reality, they are elegant and eternal creatures of infinite value with potential beyond imagination. Think of where you came from. You are sons and daughters to the greatest, most glorious being in the universe. He loves you with an infinite love. He wants the best for you.”

Brothers and sisters He really does. You and I are the reason He created this world. We are the reason He asked us to leave Him for a while to come here and gain bodies. He knew this life would be very hard, but He knew it was the only way for us, His beloved sons and daughters, to become our true potential. He misses us. He loves us. He not only wants us to return home to Him, but He wants us to become exactly like Him. Think of that potential--- to become like our perfect Father in Heaven.

But how? How could we, as fallible humans ever become like Him? Living in this difficult world, our physical weaknesses and spiritual imperfections separate us from our perfected Father and celestial home. That is why we need a Savior. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He came to this world to redeem us. Think of each your sins, pains, heartaches, sicknesses or weaknesses. Jesus Christ took upon Him your entire load and so much more. He suffered the consequences for our imperfect lives, so we can one day live His perfect life.

But He cannot save us against our will. We must choose for Christ to heal us and help us. So how do we choose Him and this priceless gift? It is called the gospel of Jesus Christ – faith, repentance, baptism, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. That’s it! If we follow that process, we can return home and become like our Heavenly Father.

Since the beginning o time, this path home or the gospel of Jesus Christ was taught to us by prophets. Our Savior Himself taught it while He was on the earth and His apostles taught it after. However after they were killed, the gospel of Jesus Christ was distorted. The authority of God to administer these essential ordinances was gone. Many good people trying to find their way back home formed countless of their own churches and practices, but the world was in confusion and darkness. After hundreds of years of being lost from the earth, the gospel of Jesus Christ was restored to the earth in its fullness in the 1800s through the prophet Joseph Smith. DO WE REALIZE WHAT WE HAVE?! Prophets are back. The priesthood is back. The sacrament, temples, an understanding of personal revelation is back. The gospel of Jesus Christ, our way to accept the atonement of our Savior and the path home, is back on the earth. It’s here---in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

 I had the greatest job in the world for the past year and a half of my life. I got to dedicate ALL I had to invite others and help them come unto Christ. I got to wear Jesus Christ’s name on a name tag over my heart. I got to help people realize who they really are, what their potential really is, and progress on their journey home to our Heavenly Father.

When I left my family, my friends, my education and life as I knew it, I naively thought my mission was this great sacrifice I could give to Heavenly Father as a token of my gratitude for all that He has done for me. I thought my mission was my gift to God. I was so wrong. My mission was one of the best gifts that God has ever given me.

This is the Lord’s work. He could do it all by Himself and He can do a much better job at it than we ever could. So why did He ask me to go? Why did He let me participate? I think it is because He knew how much it would change me and transform me.

Before I left one of my sisters wrote in my journal a piece of advice that stuck with me everyday in LA. She wrote, “The Lord loves you, but He wants to teach you. Don’t fight the Lord’s tutoring hand.” I tried my best to let Him take over. And I’m still trying to do that.

The hardest question everyone seems to ask me since I have been home is, “how was your mission?” Uhhh… how do I begin to convey it in a word or even in a sentence? There aren’t words eloquent enough to describe how sacred my mission is to me, even if you had all day to listen. I have asked myself a lot why it is so hard to describe it. I have realized that it is because the only person besides me who was there for all of it was Heavenly Father. So it became this intimate experience I had with Him.

One of my favorite scriptures says, “Be still and know that I am God.” I may not be able to express the past year and a half to you, but I can at least tell you about a few experiences I had with Heavenly Father. Moments where I stopped, was still, and knew that God was real and with me. They might be small moments, but they are definitive moments in my life. I could feel His love and cannot deny that.

One of these moments happened early in my mission at the Missionary Training Center.  They have this practice teaching center where volunteers from the community come in and pretend to be non-members and we, as brand new missionaries, get to teach them. Occasionally, someone you teach won’t be pretending. Well one day my companion and I went and they told us that the person we would be teaching wasn’t pretending but was actually a less-active member of the church. We walk in to meet a 19 year old kid named Parker. Parker became less active when he was 14, when he started an addiction. That addiction led him to a downward spiral. Then, years later, he wanted spiritual help. He talked to a friend that worked at the MTC about it. He said he didn’t want to go to his bishop, to his family, or missionaries in his area; he didn’t want to talk to anyone he knew. So his friend suggested he come to the teaching center. He could talk to missionaries like us and never see us again. My companion and I started to teach Parker about the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I wanted to share my go-to atonement scripture at the time in Alma 11. As I opened up my scriptures, something stopped me. The Spirit whispered in my mind “Isaiah. Isaiah.” Why would I read Isaiah to a teenager?! Well, I followed that prompting and read this scripture in Isaiah 53: 4-5 about our Savior. “Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” As I read that scripture, Parker began to weep. He said to us “you know, since I went less active when I was 14, I only attended one year of seminary. And in that year, I only memorized one scripture. You just read the only scripture I ever memorized.” In that moment, I KNEW God was so aware of us. He loved Parker so much and had a plan for him.

I remember the first time that someone we were teaching rejected us and asked us to not teach him anymore. I was so heartbroken. My companion and trainer was a genius and took me to the middle of UCLA campus (because that’s where we were assigned at the time). We went to somewhere called Bruin walk where thousands of students were walking to class.  She told me to read this scripture out loud and replace Nephi’s name with mine. I told her, “sister! I am not going to read this in front of everyone.” She replied, “Are you kidding? No one is paying attention to us as usual. Just read it.” She was right, and I’m glad I listened. I read in Helaman 10, “…the [people] divided hither and thither and went their ways, leaving Sister Atkinson alone, as [she] was standing in the midst of them.” (and here we were standing in the midst of so many people, yet feeling so alone and abandoned). “As [she] was thus pondering because of the…people… a voice came unto [her] saying : “Blessed art thou, Sister Atkinson, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but has sought my will, and to keep my commandments. And now, because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold I will bless thee forever.” In that moment, I could feel Heavenly Father’s love wrap around me. We were not alone. We were not abandoned. He was proud and He was grateful. And He had a work for us to do. And we got back to work.

A lot of things happened at home in the year and a half I was gone. This week I got to meet my niece and two nephews that were born while I was gone! Many people graduated or got married. I also missed several funerals of close family members and friends, including my two grandmothers’. And you know, that was hard. I could share many experiences about feeling close to the other side of the veil or feeling comfort when these times happened, but I feel like I should share one in particular. My mission president pulled me in to his office one day and said, “Sister Atkinson, your Grandma Atkinson passed away this morning.” Then he said, “tell me about her.” I started to tell him about how special she was. Then I felt prompted to tell him about her and grandpa’s legacy in WV and how they sacrificed so much for the Church here. (Which I was surprised I did, because I didn’t really know grandpa that well, because he passed away when I was so young). Then it was so amazing. The Spirit and my mission president told me the same thing at the same time, “Sister Atkinson. I want you to know that your grandma and your grandpa, because they were sealed in the temple, are reunited today. They are missionary companions right now. They are doing the exact same work you are doing on this side of the veil. This is the most important thing you could be doing right now.” All of a sudden it hit me: temples are not some fairy tale. This is all real life. This is all true. And there is nothing more important than dedicating our lives to and sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

One day, (it’s a long story of why), but a companion and I decided to go in to an appointment ten minutes early. We were on the porch and my hand was on the doorknob when the Spirit stopped us dead in our tracks. We both felt like we were being asked, “You have ten extra minutes of the Lord’s time; what are you going to do with it?” So we turned around immediately and decided to street contact on that street for the ten minutes we had. It was a residential street where we rarely found success, but we felt like it was the best option. As we started down the street our lives changed when we met Ted. Ted had prayed to God just two days before that he would find a new direction in his life. He made and kept an appointment with us. He came to church. He read the Book of Mormon. He gave up addictions. He knew so quickly that this was the work of the Lord and immediately turned over his life to us. At his baptism a few weeks later he testified, “I know that Christ is exactly who He said He was and Joseph Smith is exactly who he said he was.” Ted is a very different person now than he was six months ago. As I watched this man completely transform as he applied the atonement of Jesus Christ, that is available today through the restored gospel, my life was changed. My understanding of this life and of our Savior deepened. I could feel my Savior’s love for me and for Ted in every part of my soul.

These experiences are just a few of those moments where I was still and knew that God was real and that He loved me. We don’t have to be wearing nametags to have these experiences. Our perfect Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ are trying so hard every day to help us, to heal us, and to love us. We just need to come unto them.

“Come unto Christ and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. And again if by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God…that ye may become holy, without spot.” (Moroni 10:32-33)

It’s all true. I know it. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

"Put his arms unfailing 'round you -- God be with you till we meet again."

     Well, everyone this is it. Her last email as a missionary! It made me cry....well actually I have been crying for 2 weeks! I am so excited to see my baby girl! If you want to come to the airport and be part of the welcoming committee she is due to arrive at Yeager Airport about 9:50 pm Wednesday, June 11th!, arriving from Atlanta. If the flight is on time they usually get in a little early from Atlanta so I am planning on being there at 9:30. But tis the season of scattered thunderstorms so hopefully weather won't be an issue. There will also be the welcome home party/concert on the lawn at our house on Saturday, June 21st at 6:00 pm. and she is speaking in church Sunday, June 22nd at 9:00 am (at the church in Sissonville). Our whole family will be together for one week beginning June 20th. This is one happy mom! I cannot thank you all enough for all of your love, prayers and support for her and me these past long months. Hope to see all of you soon!  Love, Dawn  

 

Hello everyone!!

 

    I just cannot believe that today is here. I really am not quite aware of anything that is going on around me. Everything is a blur...Like I have a ton of energy and I know soon enough I'll crash and it will all hit me sometime in the next 4 days, but I have no idea when. So until then I'll just keep running around smiling. I will do my best to say something coherent...

    So I've already had my last MLC, endowment session with the departing missionaries and President/Sister Weidman at the temple, my last interview with president, and my departing missionary fireside. I've said good-bye to all of my investigators/members/etc. except the two we will see tonight. Ah. In about 45 minutes, Sister Black and I get to go street contact for a few hours with the brand new missionaries that just got off the plane. Then we have a couple hours in our area tonight. First thing tomorrow morning, we are going to the transfer meeting where I will say good bye to all my missionaries that I love so much. I'll get to bear my testimony to the precious new missionaries and then we will spend the day in the temple doing initiatories and sealings. Then we will have a dinner with President and Sister Weidman and a final testimony meeting. Then I will sleep at the temple patron apts. Then we will fly off on Wednesday morning. I have a solid 4 hour layover in Atlanta (plenty of time to hand out pass along cards) and then I'm home. Like I said, it still hasn't really hit me.

    A few comments about the week:

-I got to go on exchanges with Sister Son (one of my past companions)!! She is now speaking Korean in Koreatown biking her little heart away, so YES I got to serve Korean speaking for 24 hours. Since you bow your head when you say hello to Koreans, I kept bowing my head when I said hi to people for a good 48 hours after I left Ktown. It was so fun to be with her. We haven't been companions for a year, and it was so special to see how much we've grown. I love her a lot. Plus, she took me to a Korean bbq place #holla. Oh and two men tried to kiss us. #nailedit

-I have prayed hard for miracles this week and they happened! Just a few of them include an investigator getting a very STRONG impression from the Spirit to "believe the sisters"!!!!! 3 formers wanting to meet with us again!!!!!!!!! Vicky passing her baptismal interview!!!!!!!!!!! Ted wearing a white shirt and tie to church!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And many more. It has been a very special week for me. Plus Sister Black is awesome.

-The temple was a sacred experience as always. It was interesting. The first part of it was really hard. I was exhausted and starving (long day) and just felt like I was working so hard (even though I was sitting, haha). I was sitting in a room and then I prayed to God. I went through the past year and a half. I went through each companion, each area, and many of the people I got to work with. Once again the weight and the exhaustion hit me. Then I got to go into my favorite room in the temple. I walked in and embraced Sister Weidman and shook hands with President Weidman (I love them so much..President said "I think it should be legal to hug sister missionaries in the temple" hahahaha). I hugged the other sister missionaries going home. One of them, a good friend, asked me how I felt. I felt light. I felt fulfilled. I felt peace. I felt so much love. She said "This just feels like a giant family reunion". I responded, "I think that is exactly what it's supposed to feel like...hey sister, I think God wants us to be happy that we're going home." I felt like the first part was working my way through my mission and the last part was how I'm supposed to feel about going home. It was really special and as always I can't convey it the way I want to. I then sat in the temple and read Doctrine and Covenants. I read in section 128 which is just where I was in reading it (I'm trying to finish it before I head home). It was amazing how much it answered so many of the questions I had for God. The following verses really hit home:

22 Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free.

 23 Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!

    Shall I not go on in so great a cause? The back of my planner this transfer has a quote from President Uchtdorf, it says: "In His plan, there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings." This is the work of salvation people. It is the happiest cause that I have ever devoted so much. And you better believe this is not the end. I'm just moving forward to the next stage. Praying for courage, haha.
    My last interview with President was really special as well. I love that man. The Spirit was so strong and was able to once again answer so many of my questions. But for a good 5 minutes of it he told me why I need to go into HR (he is one of the most influential CEO's in the world and the most humble one too). So I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

    And then last night was my departing missionary fireside. It was really special for me to see so many of the people that I have been blessed to know the past year and a half (plus the surprise visit from my BYU/LA native friend, Heather, was so fun!). Just calling everyone to invite then was overwhelming enough. I just am so so so grateful. My testimony at the fireside meeting went something like this:

"Hello my friends!

God IS real. He is our loving Heavenly Father. He knows us perfectly and loves us individually. My whole life I have been overwhelmed by the way he has blessed me and given me so many gifts. So when I sacrificed a year and a half of my education, family, friends and life as I knew it, I thought I was finally able to give a gift back to God. But I was wrong and very naive. Because a year and a half later, especially as I look in to the faces of so many individuals who have changed my life, I know that my mission has been a gift from God to me.

This is the Lord's work, not mine. He could do a much better job of it than me. So why did He ask me to come? Why did He let me participate? Because He knew how the experiences I would have in Los Angeles would change my life. And they have.

The greatest gift God has ever given us is His beloved Son, Jesus Christ. Through Him we can have eternal life. Not only do we have the opportunity to live with God, but we have the chance to be like Him!! But how do we accept this gift? We must have faith, we must repent, we must be baptized, we must receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and we must endure to the end. A complete understanding of these steps to accepting this gift and this path were gone from the earth for hundreds of years. But they have been restored to the earth through the prophet Joseph Smith.

Do we realized what we have?!

The Church of Jesus Christ is back! The priesthood, the power of God, is back! Baptism, sacrament, temples, all of it is back! The path way home to our loving Heavenly Father is back! 

This is a big deal. And the evidence of that is in the Book of Mormon. We can read it and ask God if it is all real and true. It is. I know that. 

We must not let anything get in the way of us progressing on this path home to God. Don't let any substances, doubts, or fears get in your way. We must press forward with faith. We must repent daily. We must read the scriptures and pray every day. We must take the sacrament worthily every week. If you haven't been baptized yet, please please please follow the example of Jesus Christ. Come unto Him. This is the work of Jesus Christ and I know it's all true."

I am so overwhelmed by all the love and support I have received from all of you from home. I am sure that I could not have had these experiences in the past year and a half without you all. I am excited to be reunited with you! Love you all! make it the greatest week ever!!

Sister Atkinson

Onward, onward, youth oif Zion; Thy reward the victor's crown!

Just to let all of you know in advance - her arrival at Yeager Airport is scheduled for 9:50pm on Wednesday night, June 11th. ALL are invited to welcome her home if you wish. We will not have all of our family there because they all won't be here until June 20th. But you are considered family to us and I know she would be thrilled to see a welcoming party! AND also to let you know in advance, we will be having a welcome home gathering and  one of our annual live concerts on the lawn combination at our house (rain or shine),Saturday June 21st at 6:00pm. AND one more thing - she will be speaking in church, 9:00am Sunday morning, June 22nd. We would love to all of you there! Call if you have any questions! Thanks in advance for 8 more days of prayers and support! Love, Dawn

 

 

Hello hello hello!

I have done pretty well so far at keeping my emotions together, so I refuse to talk about how many days I have left to destroy that composure. :) (I really am still in denial, haha)

But since everyone has asked about my stress or emotional level, I would say I'm feeling what I'm supposed to be feeling---one hot mess. Just kidding, I'm actually doing really well.  I'm overall super grateful and full of awe that God lets me be here. But I'm often paralyzed in thought (never in lessons or on the street...just in my bed or in the car, haha). My mind is constantly racing of this and that. On exchanges this week in a YSA ward, we went to a member's home and I saw a friend from BYU. Can God stop reminding me that I'm going home? #theworst 

But one redeeming thing is that I feel like I get to have all my people back at the same time (at least virtually)---west virginia people, utah people, my LA people...so that keeps me comforted. (How in the world did anyone handled returning from a mission without facebook is beyond me).

This week was such a good week! ELDER M. RUSSELL BALLARD, AN APOSTLE AND SPECIAL WITNESS OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, CAME TO OUR MISSION YESTERDAY. It was such a sacred few hours. President commented afterwards that Elder Ballard spoke to us as if we were old friends. I could feel that love. When he testified of the Savior and of Joseph Smith's first vision and of the Book of Mormon, the Spirit completely enveloped me. He was speaking pure truth. 

He told some stories of his own where as a mission president or missionary he would ask the person to ask God "are we true messengers from God?" As he said that over and over, the spirit made me ask, "Am I a true messenger from God?" There a few moments on my mission that I realize how special the calling of a missionary is. It just all hit me yesterday. We rode back with some other sisters, one of which is my good friend who is also going home this transfer. I asked her how it felt to hear Elder Ballard talk about the future of the California Los Angeles Mission and realize we wouldn't be here. She summed it up perfectly when she said "It stung". But sometimes God just calls us to something different. Onward, ever onward.

One thing he and the member of the 70 [another general authority of the church] that came with him talked about was the Savior's parable of the lost sheep. Our purpose as missionaries (well and everyones for that matter) is to invite others and help them to come unto Christ through faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. How great is our calling!!!!! We get to invite and help the lost lamb return home. When we are baptized we covenant to take upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ and always represent Him. That's what we do as missionaries. Christ's name is literally written on my chest all day, everyday. We must be committed to that lost sheep. We must have a deep and invested love as we try to help them home. If it requires going in to the thickets and helping them on to our shoulders and carrying them miles back to the little flock, then we must do that. Last night, I sat across from an investigator that I have worked with for several months. I can tell you that some days I have thrown her on to my shoulders and had to go get her from spiritual thickets plenty of times, haha. But she. was. different. yesterday. She was glowing. She is getting baptized soon. She is a different person. The atonement is working inside of her and God let me be apart of it. I just sat and stared at her in awe. Moments like that are what this work is all about.

Our investigators are doing really well. Like this area is going to EXPLODE next transfer and I am so excited for it. One of our investigators I was so sure would get baptized this weekend before I left, but she smoked a cigarette this week, so we had to move it (just need to make sure you're off of it before you promise God when you're baptized that you'll never smoke again).Sister Black and I were sad of course that we would have to move her baptism. Then I realized I wouldn't be here for it. Then Sister Black asked me how I felt. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. It took all I had to say, "You know sister, experiences my whole mission have prepared me for a moment like this." 

What I mean by that is my whole mission I have struggled with a roller coaster of thoughts of "Am I baptizing enough?" "Am I giving my all?" "Is the Lord pleased?" "Am I satisfied with what I did in this area?" "Am I enough?" etc. etc. etc. That moment was a test to see if I really have learned deep in my heart what was important. Did Satan attack me in that weak moment? As always. But I really felt stronger than him. I probably am not explaining that well, but it was a special moment for me.

So I thought I better try to convey in this email my thoughts that I have learned, and I mean it all in the humblest way possible.

Now, do not get me wrong. Numbers are very very very important to me. They have helped me grow, pushed me to what I didn't know was possible, built my faith, and been the means of many miracles of my mission. However, I think looking back on my mission I can say I am just as satisfied in my transfers of "lower numbers" with my transfers of "higher numbers". Sure there might be some few differences between the two types of transfers that I had some control over, but pretty much overall my work ethic, faith, and desires have been consistent with what I was capable of the time. Of course I can look back on a day or an investigator or a transfer and say "What was I thinking. I would never do that now. There is something way more effective. Why didn't you help them this way! etc." But at the time I did what I could/thought was best and knew how to do. Every night I kneel down at my bed and pray and hand over my day to the Lord. I pray that He will forgive me for my weaknesses and my mistakes and help me be better tomorrow.

Elder Ballard (yes the same one I got to shake hands with yesterday #nobigdeal), asks a question to missionaries on one of the Preach My Gospel training dvds. He says something to the effect of "If the Lord came to your area and asked you 'How are you taking care of this part of my vineyard that I have trusted you with?' would you feel comfortable handing him your area book?" I really do think I could give my Savior any of my planners, ward lists, area books, etc. and say "Here Lord. I'm so sorry for all my mistakes, but I really have tried so hard." And I really do think I would feel fulfilled. I feel His love and gratitude often (I am praying so hard that I'll be able to feel it these next two weeks especially). Some people might look at my mission and say "Wow you had lots of baptisms" or some might say "Whoa you didn't have very many baptisms". But the thing is, if we are trying to do things the Lord's way, they aren't my numbers at all---they are His. 

If there has been one recurring theme of my mission it is this: This is the Lord's work, not mine. These are His people, not mine. It has had absolutely nothing to do with me. Sure I helped and sure there are many people that I felt a very special and predestined connection with, but it was God the entire time. It was His work when we had rejections and it was His work when we had success. Either way, He patiently let me participate because He knew how these experiences would change me.  I would never be bitter or disappointed in some of the harder times of my mission, because I am just so grateful that God has let me witness any of it in the first place. We must still have deep faith and high expectations. This is the time of the hastening of His work. Big things are going on. I came here to give my all to Him, and I certainly have tried hard to do that. It's a good thing, I have PLENTY of time left on my mission to still give Him all I got ;).

Not sure if any of that made sense. Thank you ALL so much for your endless love, support, and prayers. It has made all the difference. Make it a good week!!

The light of faith is in our hearts, our guiding star.

This is her email from today. More amazing stories. It is getting closer to her coming home! Dawn

 

Hello friends!

    WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?
    Once upon a time Shay 'Tard' Butler is a famous youtuber. He is Mormon. He and his family live in our stake here. They decided to do a 'why I believe' type fireside and since they were expecting a ton of his fans, they called in the troops to help (aka, we missionaries had tables with copies of the Book of Mormon, cards, etc.). Then they asked Sister Black because she is a bo$$ singer if she would sing a solo. Then a few days later the following conversation happened, "Sister Black. Shay has a good friend who is a singer and is coming to the fireside. Would you mind changing the solo into a duet?" "Sure!" "Okay great. Well, we are trying to keep it on the down low, but you'll be singing a duet with David Archuleta. Thanks!" WHY DID I NOT TAKE A PICTURE OF HER FACE WHEN SHE REALIZED WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

    Before we could text Gina (David's manager that I taught the Restoration to 6 weeks ago) about the coincidence, we get a text from her inviting us to the fireside. Hah, little did she know. I called her.

"GINA! This fireside he's singing at? You know how one of his songs will be a duet with a sister missionary?"

"Yeah..."

"GINA. THAT'S MY NEW COMPANION. What do you think God is trying to tell you?! Obviously, He just loves me and is letting me see you again."

She just died laughing.

    Sure enough Saturday night we met in a high council room at the church with a fruit bowl and water bottles and I listened to David Archuleta warm-up/rehearse for two hours. #dreamscometrue

Funny fact? He doesn't really read music. But the way he harmonized on the spot was seriously unreal. My companion? Gave him a run for his money. Seriously, she is so talented and blew it out of the park.

    Honestly? I was more excited to see Gina. (God seriously just loves her so much). David saw me and just laughed and said "Well this is funny." Gina asked what the chances were that the singer would be my companion and I told her we have like 250 missionaries in LA. She couldn't deny it. Shay walked in and just jokingly told her to get baptized #jokingnotjoking. The blonde girl from the show iCarly also comes strolling in. Here I am in the corner chatting with Gina just chomping on grapes surrounded by celebs. Don't worry Dad, I'm still your WV redneck daughter. :)

    Sister Black and Dah-veed (I still get distracted when I say David :) ) sang my favorite song from my mission "Savior Redeemer of My Soul" for the opening hymn. It was flawless and so touching. The Spirit was SO strong. Shay gave an awesome fireside and "Brother Archuleta" closed with his testimony and a version of "If the Savior Stood Beside Me". He is so gracious and classy. Everything was focused on the Savior and it was such a powerful night for everyone who attended.

    My companion was in shock for a while (still might be, haha...President texted us and asked us how it went and all she could say was "It was a nice experience." To which he replied "Is that it?" hahaha). But I loved that after it was all over all she could say was "Eh, I don't really want to be famous." We've talked a lot about how we should use our gifts for what's most important----the salvation of souls. We shouldn't use our gifts (from music to making paper cranes to calculus) to receive self-recognition or praise from others but to share the light of Christ through them. Her humble example has made such an impression on me.

    We actually got to witness one example (other than Gina) of how God used everyone who selflessly used their talents that night to help one of his children find truth and love. We got a referral yesterday and went and knocked on her door. Her name was Alyssa. She is 20 and is a huge fan of the Shaytard show. She came to the fireside Saturday night and was so impressed that she called her friend in the area who is Mormon and asked if she could come to church with him. She went to all 3 hours of church and loved it. We knocked on her door a few hours later. She has done so much research on the church and the gospel. She said that her Mom was Jewish and her Dad was Catholic, but she has found God in her own way. She said that it's amazing how her beliefs match up a lot with "the Mormon way". She is YSA so we referred her off to the YSA missionaries, but she is amazing.

    I jokingly told Sister Black that all I want are good stories for first dates and for the grandkids. #thankyouHeavenlyFather #nailingit But really, I just love God. So much.

    We went on a ton of exchanges this week. I just love sister missionaries so much. And I just am trying to soak in every moment I can. It's still selfishly fun to bring Spanish-speaking sisters to our area for them to be thrown off by the lack of reception we receive in Santa Monica. I called another sister this week who we're going on another exchange with to see if she wanted to come to our area or stay in hers. "Do you want to come here?" "No." "Why not?" "You work too hard." Hahahaha, best compliment of my mission.

    You know, I've had a fair share of negative comments from people on the streets before. I'm pretty used to people saying awful things about us, the Church, Jesus, Joseph Smith, etc. but this week, I can confidently say I met the meanest man of my mission. His attacks were more personal attacks to me and my companion at the time. Anyways, I can't describe how much his words stung. I tried to brush it off, but it bothered me for a while after. The next day as I was reading the Book of Mormon, I got distracted by his hatred. Within 10 seconds of saying a silent prayer "Heavenly Father, please help me forgive this man and stop thinking about him." I read the following verse in 3 Nephi 21, "But behold, the life of my servant shall be in my hand; therefore they shall not hurt him, although he shall be marred because of them. yet I will heal him, for I will show unto them that my wisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil." It was a sweet answer to my plea as I could feel his love and protection fill me.

    Sister Weidman joined us for some lessons last week. It was unreal how much light one person can have and bring.

    Someone told me I should go in politics. Do you still need a VP for 2024, Tristan?

    The other night we woke up to the sound of POURING rain. We both were in and out of sleep because of it thinking 1. how strange 2. good! CA needs the rain. When we actually got up the next day we realized it was still gushing water outside our bedroom window, but it wasn't raining. Sure enough the water heater out back was freaking out and spewing water. Problem? It's a 3day weekend and all our neighbors and manager are out of town and the gate to get to the back was locked. So we heroically climb out of our window in our raincoats and turn the water off. It was much more dramatic at the time. Hmph. :)

    Our investigators are doing alright. Slowly but surely pressing forward. We are having a really hard time finding the elect, but we're still doing all we can. :) One night we had 18 conversations, and I was just done. I was so worn out and annoyed at people rejecting us. Our parking time was up so we ran back to the parking garage to validate our ticket. It said we had 20 minutes before we had to exit the garage. I knew it would only take 5 minutes to exit, so we looked at each other and said, "Lets go get two more conversations." We said a prayer and off we went. Who do I see across the street? ROBERT. The guy I wrote about two weeks ago? Obvi, I ran to him. He didn't have his new address two weeks ago, because he was finally getting a place last week. So! This! time! we were able to get his address and testify our guts out that he needed to talk to the missionaries that would be showing up to his door soon. 

    As always, I'm just so grateful and love God so much. Make it a great week everyone!!

Sister Atkinson

"Then let my lips proclaim it still, and all my life reflect thy will."

She sent this today - wild stories, as always. I think I am still laughing at some of them. Love, Dawn 

Hi!

    So many updates and not enough time! We want to go to the alley downtown so I can load up on cheap California t-shirts. [Note from Dawn: Souvenirs! She is coming home soon!] 

This week was seriously all over the place. Exciting, depressing, hilarious, spiritual, you name an emotion and we felt it this week. Above all, I am just so grateful. God is so good.

    God loves me so much that He let me be exchange companions with two of my past companions in the areas I served with them this week.

-Sister Rackleff came back to Santa Monica!! We show up to exchange and we are in matching outfits. #nailedit Some people will always be one heart, one mind, you know? She got a bee sting and I got a parking ticket all within 90 seconds (yes, it was my second parking ticket in a week. THE WORST. I hadn't had any in over a year! Street cleaning is the most genius scam ever.), but other than that it was such a tender mercy.

-Sister Perry is back in the HPYSA area with Sister Oakes (she and I were companions there for a week). Awesome? Yes. Sister Oakes and SIster Black had doctor's appointments so we went on a short exchange and I got to go street contacting in my ghetto of South Central for a few hours. The dream? YES. We were talking to a man outside of his house and we said a prayer together. In the MIDDLE of my prayer (#respecttheLord), someone walks up and starts talking to the man we were praying with. Man we were praying with goes inside for a minute and comes back and whispers in my ear "It looks like there may be some trouble, so ya'll should prolly get out of here." I immediately said "Okay everyone! God bless ya and have a great day!" Oh how I love that area. (Don't worry Mom, it was just some baby mama drama :( ) And we found a WV sticker on the back of a truck, so God loves us even more. (Remember that she is from WV too :) )

-On another exchange with this hilarious sister from Tahiti (she is learning English and just says "blah blah blah" like every other sentence) we were in mid city LA and watched someone throw a dollar bill out the window at a vendor and the vendor threw his popsicle back at him through the window. Hahahaha, what the people in LA will do when it gets over 100 degrees. (Were those few days miserable? Yes. But it's back to our perfect beach weather, so thank heavens).

    We found a golden investigator who had every plan to be baptized the weekend before I go home, but then he got into anti-mormon literature and broke our hearts and God's. I've realized that every time someone disappoints me on the mission (not coming to church or drops us or whatever), the scene from the 3rd episode of Star Wars plays in my head where prego Padma says "Anakin! you're breaking my heart!" Yeah. It was an interesting self-realization that I do that. 

    Sister Black is amazing and I am so grateful I had her during this crazy week. We had a lot of random things go down (giant cockroach, emergency exchanges and such with sisters who are struggling, giant spider, broken fridge, three of our strongest investigators say they don't want to meet anymore, skirt tucked into underwear, etc) and then we had the following experience which I will entitle "The things we do to reach 20 conversations". Our mission has really been pushing for 20 conversations every day, but this day we were running low because of all the craziness. Sister Black really needed to go to the bathroom, so I asked her if we could just run home since we were literally 2 blocks from home. She says "No. We need convos." Then she said the words you never want your companion to say "Lets go bathroom tracting". It's where you knock on doors and use as an excuse that you need to use their bathroom to start the conversation. Have I ever done it before? OF COURSE NOT. But I am so excited to tell you how it went. I, like the awful companion that I am, stood behind and observed the following:

Door #1:  

"Hi! How are you? What is your name?" 

"Why do you want to know?"

"Well we are missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I know this is random, but I really need to use the bathroom."

"Not interested." She then proceeded to SLAM her door 3 times.

Door #2:

I started talking first this time to a 21 yr old guy, wearing only swimming trunks with wavy beach hair down to his shoulders aka total Santa Monica hippy, 

"Hi! We are missionaries....AH!"

He tried to hug me. I screamed and cringed. Nailed it. Tried to apologize and explain our mission rules. We ended up having a spiritual conversation and getting his contact info, there definitely wasn't a 3rd female in the house and I couldn't even bear to ask. [about the bathroom]

Door #3

Sister Black this time in desperation,

"Hi! I'm sorry. I know this is super random, but can I use your bathroom?"

Man in broken English, "Uh sure."

"Also, I know this is super awkward as well, but is there another female that lives here?"

Once again in broken English "Yea. this is awkward, but yes. Come in."

We proceed to go to the bathroom off the kitchen while he disappears downstairs. My companion is finally in the bathroom when he comes around the corner to me carrying something. What is it?  A box of tampons. WHAT. I awkwardly take them and then realize that 1. he thought she was asking for feminine products instead of an actual 3rd female. 2. we were currently breaking rules by being in a house alone with a man by accident.

I proceed to knock on the bathroom door and says "Uhm. sister? I have something for you."

She just takes the box without a word. After she closed the door, I just lose it. I haven't lost it before on my mission, but I just start snorting and crying trying to suppress my laughter so the poor guy couldn't hear me. She still had the energy somehow to try and offer him a passalong card on our hurried exit, but he told us he was Jewish and I just walked out of the house because I was still crying from laughing.

Bathroom tracting at its finest. 

    I also got hugged by a male investigator at church in front of everyone and had to explain the rule. It will be SO awkward when I go home, hahaha. 

    Other highlights  include climbing on a man's roof to see the sunset (and to get a return appointment out of him) and fulfilling my mission dream to climb over a fence in my skirt to make sure an investigator was awake for church.

    Keep praying that our investigators quit smoking! 

    All is well! Lots more miracles to share but I'm out of time!!!

Make it a great week! Love you all!

Sister Atkinson

"He answers privately, reaches my reaching."

Hi everyone!!!

This week was great! 

-Our investigators are slowly but surely moving forward. The biggest hurdle seems to be quitting smoking for almost all of them. Mom sent me a cutesy quote from general conference and we put it in our investigator's dashboard and every time she is tempted she quotes it. It says "You have the Savior of the world on your side...how can you fail?"    I've learned a lot about having hope and faith in people; never doubting their potential. If God never gives up on me, how in the world could I give up on someone else? 

-Sister Black is just a powerhouse and it's really fun to be her companion. This week was her birthday and we celebrated by going to Tender Greens (welcome to healthy Santa Monica) and I threw balloons at her when she woke up.

-One of our sweet investigators talked about how his life started changing when he came to church and how he can feel the light that has come in to his life. #heartmelted #lovehim

-Fruit just always tastes better in Cali. This week Sister Black looked at this weird looking fruit and decided to buy it. It was like green jello seed pods and cactus-y yellow on the outside. That's about as exotic as it gets on my mission, haha.

-Tracted in to this one woman who started telling us about aliens and conspiracy theories with a giant cockatoo bird on her shoulder. The bird proceeded to climb onto our shoulders and eat the eraser off of my pencil. I always think I've experienced it all and then things like that happen.

-Good to go on exchanges again!! And we went to the ghetto of mid-city. I realized how much I miss the ghetto. 20/25 people you contact will actually talk to you. 20/50 on a good day in our area will have a conversation with you, haha. Took a paparazzi picture of the house from the tv show The Bachelor, so that was fun.

-We talked to Flo's counterpart from the Progressive Commercials on the street this week. Super nice guy. Knew a ton about church history and our doctrine and tried to completely destroy our faith in a loving way. I hate experiences like that and I've had one too many in my life, haha. But my testimony never fails me. Respectfully, I was able to just bear a simple testimony of my faith in Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's simply just true.

-We met a guy on the street last night who was one of Clay Christensen's students and then one of his coworkers. As in Elder Christensen of the 70? [an LDS general authority and author of the awesome member missionary book? Harvard bigwig? Yeah. Him. Of course, Elder Christensen had him over for a first lesson with missionaries before. Once again: NOT. A. COINCIDENCE. Come on people, just face it---the church is true. Okay? Okay.

-A woman fell asleep ON my companion during a lesson this week. In our defense, she is in her 90s and has dementia.

-We ask everyone for referrals. We asked someone we tracted into if there was anyone in her complex that could use an uplifting song? She told us about her neighbor around the corner. We knocked on his door. He lives all alone and had just started his second round of chemotherapy that morning. We sang him the hymn "Where Can I Turn for Peace?", and I am telling you there were angels singing with us. It was one of those sacred moments where you know you are exactly where God needs you to be at an exact moment. 

-We had our leadership meeting and zone conference this week on diligence. You better believe we're working working working! 

-A lot of you have asked me how I'm feeling about going home. Honestly, I'm so busy I don't spend too much time thinking about it. And when people ask I just tell them I go home 'later this summer'. :) Yesterday, it did hit me though. Talking to the fambam on skype was so nice!   [Note from Dawn: Yay! She got to talk to us for Mother's Day.]   I love you all so much and I am excited to see you and move forward. My mission isn't supposed to be the best year and a half of my life; it is supposed to be the best year and a half for my life. I did get emotional yesterday for different reasons. I do honestly feel sick about leaving my mission, missionary mode, and the people here. Of course the feelings of inadequacy or nervousness, etc. are all mixed in there, but I want to reassure you all I really am in a good place. President called us last night about something sister training leader related but I asked him, "President. what would you say to a missionary who has some anxiety about going home?" He just laughed and knew I was talking about myself. He reassured me how normal the feelings I have are and how everything will be just fine. So for now, I'll just keep taking everything one day at a time and continue to give the Lord all I have.

MAKE IT A GREAT WEEK! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Sister Atkinson

I believe in Christ, so come what may:)

Her is her letter from Monday, May 5th! I get to talk to her in just 3 days!!!!  Happy Mother's Day to me!!!!!! As always, I appreciate your support and love.    Love, Dawn

Hi everyone!

Whew what a week!

Sister Black is amazing and is an answer to a prayer I didn't even realize I had. (God knows what we need.) Honestly we have had just a very consecrated week. We are working so hard to have at least 20 conversations a day, and we are seeing miracles.

-A less active I worked with in a past area ran me down at the transfer meeting to give me a hug and tell me she wants to go on a mission.

-We have been working on talking with everyone, but we were super late to an appointment and walking to the car with purpose. Then there was this older woman powerwalking by in her work out clothes with headphones on and we thought it was too awkward to stop her. Then! She turns around about 20 feet past us and yells "You Mormons?" "Yes!" She looked completely dumbfounded at herself. I asked if she saw our tags and she said "No! I have no idea why I thought you were Mormons or even asked you if you were Mormons." She was embarrassed, but we were excited. We talked to her for just a minute (she got antsy for exercise), but it was a solid minute contact. Then we stopped to talk to another man by our car and talked to him and she powerwalked past us again, held the visitor's center card in her hand, and called out to us "I will come!!" Must. Talk. To. Everyone.

-Sister Black is adjusting to the...prideful...people in our area and is experimenting with different ways to get their attention.

"Hi! can we ask you a question?"

Grumpy old man just stops and stares at her.

"What gets you through hard times?"

In the rudest voice possible he says "myself" and stomps off.

That seems to be working for ya there buddy.

-I tried to warn Sister Black that Santa Monica is where everyone who is homeless or has special needs comes because there are so many good government programs here. But no amount of warning can really prepare someone for the streets of Santa Monica. Sister Black studied some clinical psychology and such at school and tries to diagnose everyone we meet. It is highly entertaining to watch her.

-Saw a woman reading Of Mice and Men on the street corner, so obviously I had to stop to talk to her about how that book taught me about friendship and how God is my best friend. Her name is Linde and we met with her the next day and here is how part of the conversation went,

"Will you follow the example of Jesus Christ and be baptized?"

"Is that where you go backwards in the water?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah. I can do that. I'm a good swimmer."

Nailed it.

-One of the people we tracted into last week that let us in, called us this week and she said she didn't really know why... She is looking for a sense of spirituality right now. God knows where we need to be at every moment. It was an awesome conversation.

-Can I just say God is real? Merciful!

-We met a kid on the street about a month ago. He didn't live in our area so we referred him through the system to the LA YSA sisters without thinking twice about it. They told us yesterday that he is already reading in 2 Nephi and is getting baptized at the end of this month. WHAT. God's timing is so unreal.

-I hate cigarettes. They are addicting and are destroying some of our people's progression. Plus way too many young people in Santa Monica smoke. So please just don't ever start. Okay? Okay.

-My testimony was strengthened this week that God calls the weak and simple (holla at me) to do His work. Not because He needs us. But because if we listen and obey, He lets us participate in this marvelous work and a wonder that is going on right now.

-We had some great lessons with our investigators this week. They are slowly but surely progressing and teaching me a lot about patience and faith and hope. Thanks so much for your prayers!!

-I can't believe it's been a year since Sister Oldham and I volunteered at that children's carnival, but they asked us to do it again this year. Did we get to wear Asian farming hats and cheer on kids as they blew through straws to race sailboats? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Was pop music playing in the background? Yes. Good to know I haven't missed much quality music in the past year and a half.

-A few couples from our ward and us (plus the elders in our ward) had a fireside at President and Sister Weidmans home on member missionary work. IT was incredible and mostly I just love this work and being a member missionary is going to be so fun.

-Sometimes it's really hard to do God's will. We needed to stop teaching someone because the environment and her personality were hostile along with so many other things (never towards us. But to other people. Plus her home. Can't explain it right). Anyways, we needed to stop teaching her. It broke my heart, but I knew I could rely on God as we spent so much time knelt in prayer begging for guidance. Sometimes God asks us to do hard things, but if we just trust Him, it will all work out. I know I'll be able to teach her in the spirit world when she is in a much better situation mentally and emotionally, so all is well.

-So for the first 6 months of my mission I ran every morning near the temple on Santa Monica Blvd. Almost every morning I would run past this homeless man, Robert. Sometimes he was awake and I would shout hello as I ran past or sometimes he was curled up in a doorway asleep. I seriously have had multiple thoughts since I left that area that I should go back sometime and look for him and give him a pillow. Interesting how some people just always stick in your mind. Anyways, yesterday in downtown Santa Monica, Sister Black starts talking to a man at the stoplight. I interrupt, "Hi!!! Do you remember me?!?!" I barely recognized him, but IT WAS ROBERT!!! He looked completely different and is in a much better place in his life. It was such an incredible moment.

All is well and I am working working working. I love this work and I simply love the Lord.

Make it a great week!! Love you all!!!

Sister Atkinson